For Maria

I am not negating that I was deeply hurt
I am not making excuses for his decisions
I am not denying my pain or distracting myself with insincerities
I am simply choosing to forgive and to take back control
To look back without bitterness and scorn
To honor my true disposition and the beauty that surrounds those tender memories
I am learning to adjust my expectations
To permit heartache from the ones I love–the only ones who should be allowed to afflict such sorrow–and it’s working
Most of the sadness has left my heart as tears or poems
And the anger–the entirety of something so blinding and consuming and passionate–is gone
So, I choose this
I choose to continue on this path
I choose to carry love in my heart


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